I don't wanna wait in vain for HER love!!

Maybe I should now move on...It's been a very long time since I hold on to this feeling...It's hard to wait for a love that doesn't really exist at all...I should be contented on the relationship we have...Though I am expecting some more, it doesn't benefit both of us especially me. As much as I want to be closer and more intimate to her, the more we become apart...I love her and I really want to care for her...I want to love her as much as I can but now I realize that I should control myself...I am not happy with it but maybe it's a better, if not right, decision...I shouldn't be a martyr and just love her and not be loved back...Who doesn't want his/her love ones to love him/her back? Of course everyone wants his/her love to be reciprocated...It's so tiring to love someone that is oblivious of your existence...Who is just taking you for granted and not realizing the efforts you are exerting just to make her feel that you care for her....But honestly, i never get tired of loving her though I really want to....Gusto kong mapagod pero every time I saw her, I always realize that I still and will love her...I always tell myself that I shouldn't love her anymore and I should distract myself in loving her. But just after I told that to myself, my heart keeps screaming and shouting for the feelings I have for her...I can't keep my feeling for her...I often found myself staring at her though I really didn't intend to...I often found myself playing with her hair, pinching her or any action where I can feel that I am close to her (literally)....I always miss her and found myself thinking of her...

However, if I really love her, I should set her free....I shouldn't fence her and prevent her from achieving happiness (though it's possible that her happiness is with someone else's company)...It's hard (I know!) to do it but it's the right thing to do...It is always hard to do the right thing but we should always do it...But though I decide to stop loving her and prevent myself on hoping for something more than friends (if we're still the friends we were before), she will always be the girl I care for and love...Though I still want to wait for her love (even in vain...promise!!), I am feeling that she doesn't want me to wait...I should accept the fact that the best thing we could just ever be is being friends...

I really really really love her (kahit na she doesn't love me back...loving her still brings me happiness) and my decisions wouldn't change that fact...