hay!
you know i am not a studious type of person...not even a geek, nerd or other parallel terms to that...
but of course sometimes i really exert efforts in my studies...and that is on a very rare circumstances....i exert effort on those few subjects that i really like....however, sometimes our hardworks do not necessarily mean a good outcome...sometimes, if you would look at it, it is not fair....it is not always like math where you are supposed to equate a certain amount of hardworks into an equal amount of benefits....sometimes you will learn to accept that equality does not prevail...
i am just so disappointed this day....very disappointed!! imagine, i can only push myself to study almost once in a blue moon!!! and you know what?? it was not paid back fairly....i know i haven't done my best since i am not copying notes, sometimes cutting my class, studying just days (or even hours before) but i am really serious this time when i study for my Chemistry long exam......
i am not a very good student but definitely not a bad one....i, at least sometimes, know how to be serious in my studies.....but i am usually exerting efforts on those subjects that i know i can have fairly well grades....since, i think, if i work hard on it, it will at least compensate with those subject that i am really bad at.....and imagine, this semester, there is only one subject that i think can at least lift my QPI while there are at least three subject that are pulling it down.....but now, what?? i think it is only a false hope...
Chemistry is one of the subjects i really enjoy during my high school days....actually, even until when i entered college.....i am actually excited to take Chemistry as my natsci since last semester....however, everything changed after this day's long exam....i somehow feel like i do not like to study chem...the enthusiasm i have all faded away....
GRRRRRRRRRRRR....................................
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I just can't accept that i do not answer some of the questions in the long exam.... i study hard for this long exam (even though i just started yesterday evening i can honestly say that i study hard)......I just can't accept that the major cause of not finishing the long exam is the time constraint and not because the exam is too hard.....it is easy to accept if you didn't answer the long exam because you actually don't know the answer but if the reason is you just lack time to answer (and the fact that you know how to get the answer) it is really frustrating!!! It is really frustrating to know that you didn't finish the exam because of your inconsiderate teacher who thinks all of her students are like machines that can print their answers to a 16 item test (10 multiple choices type of question and 6 long problem solving with at least 5 sub-question each number) with complete solution in just 50 minutes.... what are we, computers?? SHOOT!!! Can't she consider the fact that we are humans who think first before writing anything on our test papers and not a machine that has a very minimal lapses in processing data and can give her a page of solution in a blink of an eye??? Can she even solve it in 50 minutes?? I DON"T THINK SO!!! In class, she actually solve the problems very slow....She have to do it step-by-step and in a very slow pacing.....And now, in our long exam, she wants us to solve on the very extreme opposite of her problem-solving-speed in class??!!! How dare her!!
I should now bid goodbye to my dream finals exemption in Chemistry!! It's really sad and frustrating....to know that all of a sudden the things you tried to construct falls down right in front of you....to know that the puzzle pieces you once enthusiastically putting together are now left undone.....to know that the things you once like are now the things you want to forget....
