It has been a long time since i last visited this blogspot....
I've been very busy for the last few days due to academic requirements, which are always my problems, and due to some personal problems...
Even we had our vacation, a lapse, for us to refresh our already over-exhausted minds (and bodies) i think i haven't recovered yet...I feel that my overall being just become more sensitive of the exhaustion i already have even before...
Moreover, when i get back to school after the vacation, the issues, problems, conflicts, burdens, etc. are still the same obstacles i faced before...and i am frustrated because of that...
Maybe because I am expecting more than the achievable reality....maybe i am expecting that after the vacation everything will start with a clean sheet of paper and everything that was left unsettled before will just be scrapped out...and of course that will not what happen in reality...i should always go through the unsettled issues of my life and learn that even the most awarding novel had gone through being written on a crumpled and dirty scratch paper...i just have to believe that it is possible if i just put all the efforts that i can give...
I always feel that my life is shallow....that i am living in the nearest "present time" possible....i don't reflect much on what will my life be after a couple of days, weeks, months and even years....i am always living in the present (that's why i always cram)....but i always want a change however, i can't....maybe i am just used to it that i can't detach myself to this attitude....i always try but i always fail..
Hope i will change....hope i can defy the current og my life...
hope i can defy my problems, obstacles, burdens, issues and conflicts..
i hope i can defy the USUAL ME!!
