this week will be over...

I hope so....









'coz i am so stressed already....both physical and EMOTIONAL...hahaha..

well, but it's true...









hope the vacation will help me heal the wounds...and not make a new one....







know what??










i miss her but seeing her doesn't help much....seeing her makes me miss her more....'coz i know that she's not the same person i am looking for.....i know that i can't come to her just like how i come to her before....i know i can't talk to her freely without this awkward feeling that evolved just lately....i know i can't smile to her without thinking on the back of my head if she will ever dare look at me.....


i know how i miss her but what i don't know is how to NOT miss her....

i don't know how to dump this feeling....i don't know how to forget everything about her.....i don't know how to act normal when "normalcy" is not being with her....


i want to pretend as if it is normal for me not seeing her everyday or even once in a week...i want to pretend as if it is normal to pass each day without thinking of her....i want to pretend that every single day, without a slightest hint of her, is NORMAL....






but these are all pretensions.....and i am fully aware of it.....i know that there is nothing normal.....there's no normal day for me....no normal week for me....and no single moment for me that is NORMAL....







i want to go back to where i started.....i want to normalize everything......





and maybe without HER....