*This is a summarized diary of my 3 days and 2 nights stay in Pollock for a YFC "Submerge" Camp*
I really want to blog it out - how I felt the ultimate love of God!! I know that this experience of mine change me a lot...I am not the same person I was before...I feel it...I am much much better than that person....because I realize that God is passionately in love with me.....He values me more than anything else....I felt so much love from God....a kind of love that won't turn me down but rather will lift me and will give me hope to find the "simplest to the grandest" beauty of life....
I haven't experience so much love before...I always think, even though I don't admit, that I am incapable of being love. I have friends, family, classmates and same sort of groups but I can't feel the love that binds us....I always think that they are there for me because they just need to....because they are supposed to be with me....because they have no choice but to be with me....I just accept those ideas...Well, it might be true since I am not a very good person, not a happy-to-be-with type of person, not even an open and friendly one, and a lot more bad characteristics to list down....but after my 3 memorable days and 2 inspiring nights with my YFC Family (I love to call them my family 'coz I do believe in my heart that that is how they see me too...a family member to be loved and to be cared of), these ideas changed....I now believe that I am capable of being loved by everyone....that there are people who can love me.....and if there's none, there is one BIG GOD who will always be there to pour out His everlasting love for me...
I am really really happy to join the YFC Camp even though I am just forced to join by Bea (thank you very much Bea because if you don't ask me to join and persuade me, I won't be experiencing this wonderful feeling). I never regret of joining the camp and missing restful sleeps, galaan, homeworks, etc. I never regret it....In fact, I am willing to leave all of this just to join the same camp....The happiness, peace, and love that I felt and is still feeling right now is so much worthy of these sacrifices...
I join YFC camp because I think it is a fun and exciting experience - taking into consideration that we will be staying for 3 days and 2 nights in a "dorm". I always want to have overnights since I always associate this with happiness, freedom, and more time with friends. So when Bea ask me to join YFC camp and told me that it's gonna be an overnight, I felt a strong feeling to join...Then, the camp day come...
That day, I was thinking not to join 'coz the camp gives me lots of problems...I have to carry a lot of things in my class since I don't want to go back home after my class just to get my things (also, I don't have much time since I am in school until 6pm due to a meeting); I also have to cram my assignments since I can't do it while I am in the camp; I can't go to our bonding activity (Saturday) since it overlaps with YFC activities; I don't have much friends in YFC members...actually, only BEA. But despite those problems, I still join the camp...first, because I told Bea that I will be going. Second, because I also told Reyvan that I will be there (since he also signed up). Third, since I am thinking of the Php 500...
When I was in the Xavier Hall, waiting for other to come (actually, I only wait for Bea and Reyvan), I am thinking again not to join....I am thinking a lot of not-so-good things to happen (e.g. I will just be bored since I don't know a lot of people there)...I wait Reyvan for several minutes because he's late....I am thinking that if he didn't come, I won't go since he is the only participant I know...I don't want to go in the camp alone...Not so many people are there in Xavier and I was thinking that it's gonna be boring...Then, some facis came and lead the participant to Pollock...Reyvan is not yet there....I don't have the plan to come with the facis until I see Reyvan or anyone (participant of the camp) that I know....But thanks God, when the people are already moving towards Pollock, Reyvan came and I was relieved...Then, we just follow them....Two facis (Kuya Harold and Kuya James - as far as I remember they are the ones) offered to carry our bags (and mind you, our bags are not light)...well, we gave them our bags, even though we're ashamed to do so, since they are insisting...
When we got to Pollock, I was impressed by the way they treated us...they are very welcoming and very friendly....all of them tried to do something good for us - get us water, talk to us, know our names, etc....I was really happy at that moment...We had GDs and lots of activities...all of those are fun..
Then, we had to listen on talks/sharings....those talks are really good....they are very insightful and full of meaning....I can feel the emotions of the speakers and their sincerity...Actually, I realized that we had common experiences with little differences in details...I also realized that the very good and friendly people who welcomed us in Pollock and served us also gone through trials in life....I thought that they have a very smooth-sailing lives and that they never gone through tests of faith; I am proven wrong...they are much alike to us...they also gone through same human experiences (of dryness, of love, of happiness, of sorrow and grief)...After the talk, we had a group discussion where we have to share our own experiences in life...but I really had nothing to share...i think my life is not so deep as they've gone through...that my view of life is something very shallow and narrow...i never think of deep thoughts and never reflect much about life....But when we are already in our group discussion, I was amazed by myself...i am the one who raised hand first to share (I just feel that I wanted to share a part of my life - even it's not deep it's still what my life is)...I learned a lot of things from the group discussion...a lot of insights and experiences...
The next day, I had less time with YFC since I have a dance practice (for my students) in the whole morning and NSTP in the afternoon...but lesser time doesn't mean lesser happiness, lesser lessons and ideas....In fact, I really had a good day on my 2nd day in Pollock....We had a one-to-one session with our group discussion facilitator....I talk to Kuya Jaron and I am really really happy that he is my facilitator....I felt, when we talk, that he's willing to listen with me...More than that, I felt that I had a Kuya (which I don't have...but I always hope to have)...I felt that there is someone who's willing to listen in my story without condemning me of the bad things I did, willing to advice and help me in my problems, willing to share his own thoughts, ideas and experiences....I really had a good "kuwentuhan" session with him....
The best thing that happen in my 2nd day of stay in Pollock is the acceptance of the gift of the Holy Spirit....I felt very blessed by this....I felt God's love and his beautiful plans for me...I also love the worship part of the night....It's fun and I love seeing people together and happily singing praises to God....I also like the "basaan" part of the camp....it's really fun but cold!!
The last day concluded the camp very well...I was thinking on that last day that I will really miss the camp...all the things about the camp....We had not much activity on that day....but it's not about the quantity of the activity but the quality of it...I was touched by the activities we had....we worship, we wrote letters to the people in the camp, and a lot more...
But the most touching and memorable part of the camp for me is the washing of the feet....it sticks to my mind...I am not a very sensitive and "iyakin" type of person but this thing always makes me feel that I wanted to cry (and it really made me cry)...I felt that the people of YFC really felt the love of God...that they do believe that God truly loves them....and they wanted to share that love with us....they want us to feel the same love from God that they feel...Kuya Byronne tell us that God really loves them and so are we....they are not doing all of these things because they are required to do so but rather they are willing to do it because God showed them so much love....so much love that they are willing to go beyond themselves and share it to others....to serve and not count the cost....to love and not ask for reciprocity....
I really miss this experience...I want to go back in Pollock and treasure every moment I have there (with my YFC Family - I am comfortable calling them my family 'coz they truly are)....I somehow regret taking for granted some details of my camp experience....i somehow regret that i didn't stay in Pollock for the whole 3 days and 2 nights since I have my other commitments (NSTP and practice)....i somehow regret that i didn't talk to the people in the camp much....i somehow regret a lot of things....but never i will ever regret that i joined the camp and be in Pollock when I can just be anywhere else and having fun or focus on my workloads....
I love all the people in the camp...my YFC Family....I treasure every moment with you guys....You made me realize a lot of things about myself, others, and God...and because of you, I will never ever be the same again....
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